Who Said Getting Old wasn't Great!!

" At 85 years of age, Morris marries LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband is so old, LouAnne decides that on their wedding night, she and Morris are to have separate bedrooms. The newlywed is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities, LouAnne prepares herself for bed, and for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action! Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves.
LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again. Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action. And again they enjoy one another.
As Morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey, I've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris."
Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already????""

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE

:" This was sent to me in an e-mail in reply to a post:(Let's find a president that can do this) I thought I should share it. Instead of leaving it in a comment box. IS.. The thoughts & ramblings of a fellow reader..I thank her for thinking about what I posted..Read below:


There is some truth to this coffee talk, (If you can read this thank a teacher if you can read this in English thank a soldier!!) EXACTLY although some may feel angry because this war still continues and some may feel different. The TRUTH AND FACT we seem to forget........

We are AMERICANS !!!!!! FREE be thankful you can have your opinion, go to school, have support (welfare), have as many children you want. Practice your religion you choose. Some may not agree but for now what is the right thing to do as a AMERICAN?


SUPPORT OUR TROUPES!! Be thankful you can sit with a loved one, grab a burger with a friend. America is made up of free Americans over the age of eighteen we have a voice we the people can make things happen. To blame one person for the war one person for Americas homeless and hunger you might as well blame yourself, have you donated one can of freshly dated soup every other month to a person in need? Have you offered a job even if it is sweeping your side walk for a couple of dollars? Do the math! A small city population of 2000 and 1/2 gave to $2.35 every other month that would be $2350.00 times that buy six that is $14100.00 a year, WOW what a difference. Some people give half or as much in tithing. If we as Americans know hungry and homeless is a problem then why is it so hard to do something about it ourselves. If we were told to do it and it was mandated people would bi%% and complain, but you don't see this kind of giving because Americans myself included don't realize how easy we have it. It is easier to blame some one else than to stand up and make a difference GIVE. Did you know there is some parents who teach their children to give 20% of their allowances to a religion after the age of eight? So why if there is eight year olds and adults giving to a religion? I thought Jesus gave us all 150% ......


what do you think!!!!! LATE AND DEEP!! "

And You Thought You Had It Bad!

"A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.

Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart!""

Walk Away

LetsSingIt. :"Well I' just came out of a 4-year courtship, which I thought I would marry this person in a couple of months. But Hell is where we went !! So I'm drifting from pissed off at men in the world and crying in my beer...Yes I've found beer don't taste to bad...Well people till I work out my angry things may get a bit crazy here, anyone got any good advice on getting over and moving on?

You've got your mother and your sister & every other, undercover, telling you what to say. You think I'm stupid...

But the truth is, that it's Cupid, baby...

Loving you has made me this way. So before you point your finger...

Get your hands off of my trigger, oh yeah..

You need to know this situations getting old. And now the more you talk, the less I can take I'm looking for attention, Not another question. Should you stay or should you go? Well, if you don't have the answer ..

Why you still standing here.. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Just walk away I waited here for you like a kid waiting after school..

So tell me, how come you never showed! I gave you everything and never asked for much of anything... And look at me, I'm all alone...

So before you start defending, baby!! Stop all your pretending I know you know I know...

So what's the point in being slow Let's get this show on the road today, hey I'm looking for attention Not another question...

Should you stay or should you go...

Well, if you don't have the answer...

Why you still standing here Hey, hey, hey, hey..

Just walk away. I want a love, I want a fire..

To feel the burn, my desires I want a man by my side....

Not a boy who runs and hides...

Are you gonna fight for me...

Die for me? Live and breathe for me?...

Do you care for me?...

Cause if you don't then just leave, I'm looking for attention. Not another question !!.....

Should you stay or should you go...

Well, if you don't have the answer...

Why you still standing here ...

Hey, hey, hey, hey...Just walk away....

If you don't have the answer...Just walk away...Just leaveWalk away, walk away "

Hormones

"Would you believe this was sent to me by who is now my x-lover, guess he did have a sense of humor...Think it says how I'm feeling these days"

"The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or Significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff.......And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect !

Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings....Something to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time...He'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate."

Just When We Think We Know Them

" A retired engineer decided to take a vacation. He booked himself ona Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank! He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branch and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?""Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very un-usual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forge-able, ductile iron. I used that ! for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few hours of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore,he nearly falls out off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home sit down, please. Would you like a drink?" "No. No, thank-you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina-Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing,"he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically positioned, and smelling of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her! . "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really...long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? "She stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers... He can't believe what he's hearing. He swallows excitedly, tears start to form in his eyes, and says, "You mean... I can check my e-mail from here?"

Let's find a president that can do this

"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR
ANY U.S. PRESIDENT (DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN) GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world.

A special note to our neighbors… Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put ‘em? Yep, border security. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.


If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

A good friend from Quincy Washington sent this to me, thought I would share it with others"

Relationships

"Well, I have figured out something, mates are strange bed fellows. Never wanting what they have and always wanting more then what they have. We search and court each other because we don't want to be alone, then when we finally find a mate that we think we must have, we do the courting dance to get them to want us as much as we want them, only to find out they were never for the taking or one of us don't want the other. This really hurts and causes everyone a lot of pain and mistrust, and we then ask our selves where did we go wrong...Again?

And is their such a thing as a perfect-mate for us? Or do we all forget to look outside of ourselves, and try to learn to be happy with what we have for the moment, because it may be gone just as fast. And ask ourselves this, if this person was to die tomorrow and suddenly be gone for ever, would we of wished we would of spent that time we could of had with them even if it wasn't that great all the time. Then to of never given the feelings we had a chance to grow, because we were always looking for something better. Now...What we did have is gone with this person for...Ever!! Because we as humans always want more then what we had, and now have lost the one person forever who made us feel like we had something to live each day for....Thoughts by Me"

My Dream Mother's Day Wish

"IF MEN GOT PREGNANT...Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay. There would be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 healthproblem. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained. Men would be eager to talk about commitment. They wouldn't think twins were so cute. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM. Breifcases would be used as diaper bags. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes. They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's. Women would rule the world."

Love-Making Tips For Us Over 40 !!

"1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol, Asprin, Nitroglycerin and Oxygen ready just in case you actually! complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbours are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

(Notice I posted it in large type so you can read it)"

Going to The Welfare Office

" A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi...You know, I just HATE drawing welfare.I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah I am, but you started it.

Hope you have a good week-end!"

Bear & God

A priest, - a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.:

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.:

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, “WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.:

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Six FriendsWe Must Have

"Friends are like shoes they can bring you profound joy. Friendship experts agree: Just as your favorite old sneakers aren't perfect for every occasion, neither is every friend. It's crucial to have a colorful assortment of friends from comfy to professional to match the varied parts of your life. Why else are multiple friendships so important? As adults, when our lives and needs and interests become more complex, we need a diverse group of friends who cover all of our dimensions. Seeing different friendships for what they are can preserve and prolong them

So what are the five types of friends that will round out your social wardrobe?

The Work Friend. This relationship is so important having an office pal, boosts productivity, makes the day go faster, and work more fun. You can bitch about your boss, fantasize about changes you'd make if we overthrew them, share dirt on who's good to work with and who's not. And we laugh still. Just be on guard: If only one of you gets that promotion, things could get uncomfortable. Try to discuss it in advance if you can.

The Friend in Your Kid's Class. You absolutely need someone to help you check out whether the teacher is really that unfair, co-mom's keep you informed, but also less isolated. Also someone to hang out with, at the science fair."

The Friend Who's Known You Forever. This friendship is priceless, there the one friend you can call to giggle about the past. She keeps your memories alive by sharing them with you.

The Hobby Buddy. You summon this friend when you want to catch a movie or concert, if you want to enroll in a history class or take a horseback ride. It's very motivating to know a friend with a passion to start with. You speak the same vocabulary. And you also have this common need to share your interest.

The Straight-Talking Friend. You know when you're clear that you need to break up with someone...but just can't quite bite the bullet? Talk to this friend. We all need someone who's honest, gets to the heart of the problem, and doesn't sugar-coat. She also won't tell you the swimsuit looks good when it doesn't, or that it's okay with her that you haven't called.

The Feel-Good Friend. We all need a cheerleader! She never belittles, or tries to make things about her, or says one of those dopey things like, You'll get over it, what you need is a fill-in-the-blank! She really knows how much better people feel when someone just listens. And the feel-good friend isn't there for you only when you feel bad. It's essential to have a friend who can be truly happy for you when good things happen, too.

Relationship TLC

Now that you know which friendships are essential, how do you to find and/or nurture the ones you need? Making friends isn't as easy, along with our lives, are less stable than they used to be, and it can feel awkward to try to make new ones. Three key steps to making new friends and maintaining the relationships.

1. Create a strategy. You can't make friends just by being friendly. Check-out social networking sites like Friendster.com and MeetUp.com. If finding the time seems difficult, carve out one lunch or evening every three weeks as Catch Up. Whatever seems do-able is better than nothing at all.

2. Be proactive. You don't have to announce I'd like to be your friend, but you do need repeat exposure. Pour a little social cement by seeking out certain people more than once extend casual invitations when you can.

3. Sort your supply. Prioritize your friendships You don't have to officially break up with any friends you don't feel the need to see constantly, just make sure they're not siphoning too much time away from all the newer, or deeper, friendships that are worth the extra effort to nurture.

So take a friend-inventory today and see what type of friend might be great to add, which friend you could see a bit less of, and who you're dying to catch up with right now. Don't let a busy schedule get in your way. In the end, it's friendship itself that lightens your load and brightens your day."

Teenager Does Homework, Mom Smokes Pot With Him

Yahoo! News :" HANOVER, Pa. - A 13-year-old boy told police his mother required him to do his homework first thing when he got off the school bus, then smoked marijuana with him as a reward.

The mother said she had been smoking marijuana with her son since he was 11, usually as a reward, according to court documents.
The police interview came after officers executed a search warrant at the woman's home last weekend and seized marijuana, an array of drug paraphernalia and $600 in cash that she said belonged to a drug dealer, court documents said.
Amanda Lynn Livelsberger, 30, faces charges of marijuana possession, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of children and possession with intent to distribute drug paraphernalia, police said.

Now this is one stupid mother!! In my eyes, come-on...She in one hand makes her son do his homework, so he can do something with his life and be somebody with a good job. But then she rewards him by frying his brain with a drug that will only kill those brain cells she is making him use, to learn. She has some real problems. I have known people in my past who smoked pot with their teenagers and I was angry when I even heard of it. Least to say we never stayed friends, I do not approve of any drug that endangers the body."

Not a worm at bottom of the rum barrel

Yahoo! News :" Budapest - Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel.

Workers in Szeged in the south of Hungary tried to move the barrel after they had drained it, only to find it was surprisingly heavy and were shocked when the body of a naked man fell out.

The body of the man had been shipped back from Jamaica 20 years ago by his wife in the barrel of rum in order to avoid the cost and paperwork of an official return.

According to workers said the rum in the 300-liter barrel had a "special taste" so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home.

The wife has since died and the man was buried in a proper grave."

Vibrator- Why They were invented

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Bathroom Test

" I was going thru my old file folder of things I have held on to over time and found this, read it again and it made me laugh. Now...I ask all of you who are reading this...Which one would you say a normal person would use?

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines whether a patient should be institutionalized or not. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub with water, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the water out of the tub."

Okay, here's your test:

1. Would you use the spoon?

2. Would you use the teacup?

3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the
bucket since it is larger than the teacup or spoon."

Walking to loose weight

"I gained a lot of not wanted weight over the winter...Again!! So I figured with the warm weather here now I would start walking, well been taking both the dogs out with me and walking in 10-15. Walks to give them an outing too. Well this is more of a hassle then its worth with both dogs, so I figured after 5-days of being wrapped and then un-wrapping them from each other and myself with the leash's. Double dog walking was not my bag or not something I am good at, nor is it for my new problem I found I get...Anger/ with a dog...LOL Yup, I'm the crazy women out walking here dogs and yelling and mad as heck because they keep tugging and wrapping me between two walking ropes. Not going to do it anymore, I'm done will now only take them out one at a time till I can get them use to walking on walks with me. But I have been having a lot of back and leg pain since I started walking them, found this article below and wanted to save it here to come back and read till I know how to do them with out reading each time. Feel free to use them also it you think they can help you>>

It's not uncommon for people carrying excess weight who start a walking program to get back pain. As you walk more your muscles will get stronger and the pain will diminish. In the meantime you ought to start to strengthen your abdominal muscles by doing 2-3 sets of crunches every day (strong abdominals help with back pain), and you should also stretch your low back and legs (particularly calves and hamstrings) before and after walking and crunches (you can do just the low back stretches before and after the crunches). Here are stretches for your back: - knee crossover: lie on your back, keep both shoulders on the ground, and pull right knee gently across body with left hand so that it approaches the ground, and then repeat other side. If it hurts, don't do it. -- knee hugs: lie on back and gently pull knees to chest -- knee drops: lie on your back, feet on floor, knees up, drop both knees to one side, then the other side. You can also cross one leg over so the foot is resting on the other knee. Then gently pull the knee down to the floor with the foot. One of the exercises is to bend at the waist and touch my toes, can be done sitting or standing. The pelvic tilt also works great."

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

A young girl went into Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. This was in Kansas City, Missouri

I laughed when I saw this as my daughter got a job working at a Taco Bell where she lives, Well CybillSkye this one for you. Hope you never make this mistake."

Helping Yourself & Others To Heal

Start Healing:" One of the principal ways we can help others to achieve new inner growth is by outgrowing ourselves. To help us understand the wisdom in this new idea we must first consider another equally important idea. A great portion of the way we "see" ourselves -- images of ourselves from which we derive our sense of self -- is actually a provision of our relationships with friends and family. Consider, for instance, that much of the way we measure the value of ourselves is secretly connected to those values we attribute to others close to us. For real-life examples of this pivotal idea we need only look into any close relationship of ours, but for now I'll draw upon the relationship I share with my wife in order to illustrate this particular point.

However I may look upon myself (perhaps as being kind, strong, or whatever the self-picture may be), this self-image is very much connected with an image of my wife that I hold in my mind's eye as being loving and wise herself. After all, I wouldn't take much stock in seeing myself as being worthwhile in her eyes (or those of any other person, for that matter) if I didn't believe that she was worthwhile, too. But the "danger" here -- in this largely unconscious, complex set of relationships shared with those closest to us -- becomes painfully obvious the moment one of these persons exhibits behavior "unbecoming" of them according to our vested idea of what makes them valuable to us. For in this same instant we perceive them as having shifted even slightly right or left of our designated center (for them), it is we who suddenly find ourselves feeling unsettled, angry, or strangely fearful.

At some point in our lives we have all dealt with uncomfortable moments where an unexpected or unwanted change in one near to us brings up some unpleasant reaction in us. Of course we are usually very quick to find fault with this person, but here is the real, invisible story. The reason we fall under the rule of these reaction-driven dark states, and then find ourselves trying to dictate the life direction of the "offending" person, is that something within us feels thrown for a loss. To understand why this is true, consider as deeply as possible the following insight, for it holds special clues to how we can outgrow our own painful condition as well as how we can help others to go higher.

The instant we perceive someone stepping outside "the box" of who we have always known them to be is the same moment in which we begin to fear the loss of who we need them to be in order to maintain our familiar sense of self. And, if we are honest with ourselves, this is the same moment in which we attempt, one way or another -- either through promises or pressures -- to get them back into the box.

In other words -- and please keep in mind that our controlling behavior is unconscious to us, as no conscious person would inhibit the growth of another's being -- something in us does not want this person to change. There is a sensing it will cost us too much -- a great "personal" cost that we will cover in just a moment. The unconscious self that sleeps in us can intuit that allowing such a transformation to take place will demand a similar transformation within us. And the truth be known, this same false nature wants nothing to change other than the deepening crystallization of its own imagined greatness... a greatness that includes its outrageous image of how accepting it is of changes in life and in others!

These findings all point to one key idea. There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships -- one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved?

To begin with, the disturbance that we feel in these moments is caused by a tremor in us. This is to say that our shaky sense of self is an effect of some picture we have held of this person as it hits the ground and shatters. Apart from our children, whom we must guide through their developing years, we need to learn to leave people alone with their decisions and corresponding actions. There is already a truth, a wisdom that supports this conscious course of action.

We already understand that no action of ours ever goes without its commensurate reward. This eternal principle is best known as karma, the great, inescapable law of cause and effect. This means it is our own nature -- as the backstage parent of what prods us along in life -- that determines what we experience as our life. So too is it with our family and friends... each receives what he or she is -- no more, no less. This truth tells us why we must not only give them room to make the choices that they will, but then leave them alone to realize and experience the unique results of being who they are. How else can they learn and grow beyond themselves?

Understanding these truths mandates that we back off from being secretly on everyone's back, that we give them the inner room they need to grow and discover themselves. The difficulty here is that in order to give others this space they need, we must first make room within ourselves. To state this same idea differently, we must remove ourselves from our habitual inner places of judgments, opinions, and knowing better than anyone else. We have always called this place that must be left behind our "self."

This conscious sacrifice of self -- of who we conceive ourselves to be for the sake of who our friend or loved one is yet to be -- gives new meaning to the beautiful ideal of "laying our life down for our brother." This is how we help others to help themselves go higher... by daring to grow beyond ourselves.

I found this while surfing the net, and felt their is so much truth in what I have just read. I wanted to share with others."

Why Words Hurt

"Jane Goodall is a renowned primatologist best known for conducting a 40-year study of chimpanzee social and family life at Gombe Stream in Tanzania. She is the founder of the Jane Goodall Institute, a leading organization in the effort to protect chimpanzees and their habitats.

I think we are still in a muddle with our language, because once you get words and a spoken language it gets harder to communicate.

Chimps are very quick to have a sudden fight or aggressive episode, but they are equally as good at reconciliation. They make an appeasing gesture--reaching out a hand, crouching, giving little cries of fear or sadness. Then, very often, the aggressor will reach out and pat or reassure--offer an embrace or something like that--and the victim relaxes, and it is over.

When humans get these sudden outbursts of anger, we add words to the mix. And as you have probably experienced, it is much harder to forget a word than it is a slap. Words can be said in bitterness and anger, and often there seems to be an element of truth in the nastiness. And words don't go away, they just echo around. So even if you can make up, the words come back.

How true this is I have found in my own life, how words have effected and shaped my life when someone lashed out in anger at me. Or when I have bangergery and lashed out at them, oh it may of at the time made me feel better or stronger because I felt like I had got the upper hand by hurting someone with words, but now I ask myself at what did it cost me in trust from that person?"

20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

" You've heard of the dog who ate homework, but what about the cat who unplugged the alarm clock? These days, people are getting very creative when they don't want to go to work. In CareerBuilder's survey "Out of the Office," more than one-third of U.S. workers say they played hooky from work over the last twelve months. Thirty-five percent of workers admit to calling in sick when they felt well at least once during the last year and one-in-ten said they did so three or more times. Why are they calling in sick? The top three motivators for faking include attending to personal errands and appointments, catching up on sleep and simply relaxing. The reasons also include attending a child's event, bad weather, making plans with friends and going on a job interview. "It's a popular time of year for employees to call in sick," said Rosemary Haefner, Senior Career Advisor for CareerBuilder.com. "However, the number of those who are actually feeling under the weather may not necessarily match up with unscheduled absences. Twenty percent of workers say they called into work because they just didn't feel like going into the office that day. One-in-four workers report they feel sick days are equivalent to extra vacation days and treat them as such." CCH found most employees who fail to show. up for work, however, aren't physically ill, according to the survey. In fact, the study found only 38 percent of unscheduled absences are due to personal illness, while 62 percent are for other reasons, including family issues (23 percent), personal needs (18 percent), stress (11 percent) and entitlement mentality (10 percent).One trend that also may be influencing the higher rate of unscheduled absences is the fact that the number of employers allowing employees to carry over sick time from one year to the next is trending downward and has dropped from more than one-half of companies (51 percent) As a result, employees may be saying, "I'd rather use it than lose it," noted Lori Rosen, J.D., CCH workplace analyst, and author of HR Networking: Work-Life Benefits. But could you get away with saying you had to go to your mother's dog's funeral or that you had brain cancer? Would you believe an employee who had the swine flu, forgot the way to work, or was arrested because of mistaken identity? Think carefully, if you're debating calling in sick, here are some of the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work. :


* I was sprayed by a skunk.
* I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
* My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
* I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
* I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
* I couldn't find my shoes.
* I hurt myself bowling.
* I was spit on by a venomous snake.
* I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
* A hitman was looking for me.
* My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
* I eloped.
* My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
* My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
* I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
* I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
* I forgot what day of the week it was.
* Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
* A tree fell on my car.
* My monkey died."

Helping Others to Start Heal

" The only way we begin to act as a true force of healing in the lives of others is when, at last, we cease to hurt ourselves "

Look at U.S. Military Deaths in Iraq

A Look at U.S. Military Deaths in Iraq. As of Sunday, Jan. 8, 2006, at least 2,199 members of the U.S. military have died since the beginning of the Iraq' war in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count.

At least 1,720 died as a result of hostile action, according to the military's numbers. The figures include five military civilians.

The AP count is 10 more than the Defense Department's tally, last updated at 10 a.m. EST Friday. The British military has reported 98 deaths; Italy, 27; Ukraine, 18; Poland, 17; Bulgaria, 13; Spain, 11; Slovakia, three; Denmark, El Salvador', Estonia, Netherlands, Thailand, two each; Hungary, Kazakhstan, Latvia one death each.
Since May 1, 2003, when President Bush' name declared that major combat operations in Iraq had ended, 2,060 U.S. military members have died, according to AP's count. That includes at least 1,611 deaths resulting from hostile action, according to the military's numbers.
___
The latest death reported by the military:
• A Marine was killed Saturday by a roadside bomb about 50 miles west of Baghdad.
• A Marine was killed Saturday by a roadside bomb about 35 miles north of Baghdad.
• Three Marines were killed Sunday by small arms attacks in Fallujah.
___
The latest identifications reported by the military:
• No identifications reported.
___
On the Net:
http://www.defenselink.mil/news/

Is this what we went over there to get? And when is it time to say no more and bring our people home."

Good Luck In ...2006

"As we all begin to take that ride on the rail of life..I hope you find your path in what you may be looking for" 

Wait For The Big Man

 

To All My Blogger Friends

 

Merry Christmas To All

 

The Ten Net Commandments

" Just a little something to keep in mind, going into the new year.

1. Thou shalt not buy merchandise found in pop-up ads or spam.
2. Thou shalt not post thy email address, phone number, address or social security number to the internet, nor shalt thou post anyone else's.
3. Thou shalt not forget to update thy Windows every second Tuesday.
4. Thou shalt not connect to the internet without installing an antivirus, nor shalt thou begin a scan without checking for updates.
5. Thou shalt not connect to the internet without installing a firewall.
6. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's credit card number, nor his bank routing number, nor his social security number.
7. Thou shalt not enter thy credit card number without seeing the tiny padlock icon on thy status bar.
8. Thou shalt not reply to the email from the Nigerian banker.
9. Thou shalt not forward chain letters to thy friends and family.
10. Thou shalt not use "password" as thy password, nor thy birthday, nor thy children's names "

Christmas is not about the loot

"It was an unusual interview. The woman explained she was writing an article for a national magazine on clever ways to put more joy into the holidays.
So I proceeded to pitch to her one marvelous holiday cost-cutting idea after another. And one after another, my ideas landed with a thud. She didn't like them at all. That's when she made a comment that effectively brought the interview to a screeching halt. She called me a Grinch.
Now she didn't actually come right out and say, "You Grinch!" She suggested my ideas would take all the fun and joy out of the season. She assured me it was nothing personal, but still, she called me a Grinch.

Not being one who can let things go easily I had to find out if what she suggested about me was true. In my zeal to encourage people to take back control of Christmas from the locked jaws of commercialism, had I taken on a striking resemblance to that holiday grump, the Grinch?
I was quite certain I knew where to find out. And sure enough, right there on the shelf between "Horton Hears a Who" and "Hunches in Bunches" I found it....that familiar bright red storybook "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
"The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason."
The Grinch, an ornery old soul with a heart two sizes too small, detests the holiday celebrations down in Who-ville. He hates the singing, the celebrating....all that noise, noise, noise, noise! So he devises a great Grinchy trick to get rid of Christmas forever. He steals all the presents, the ribbons, the wrappings; the tags, and the tinsel, the trimmings....the trappings! He hauls all the loot to the top of Mount Crumpit, where in a huge fit of glee he proceeds to....you guessed it.... dump it! There! His task is complete. He's taken care of Christmas once and for all. All the noise of the fun, all the joy and the love....even the smallest hint of the season is gone forever.
But what's that sound? It's not sobbing, but singing! The Whos began celebrating with no presents at all. The Grinch couldn't stop it, Christmas came just the same. It came without packages, boxes and bags.
I sat there recalling why I love this story so much. And I admit it, I felt delightfully smug. That writer was way off base. I'm not the Grinch in her story. I didn't steal the joy. Her Grinches are consumerism, overindulgence and overdoing the attitudes that insist Christmas is something we can find in a store, mail-order catalog or the Internet.
If you've noticed the joy of the season is missing from your life, maybe those Grinches are to blame. Maybe it's time to let them know they've lost their power.
Authentic joy comes not from all the outside trappings, but from our hearts; from the story of the birth of a baby who would become the Christian Savior; from that love that can fill our lives with giddy joy. So let the singing begin!


A Merry Christmas To All And A Good-night"

Employer's taking over your personal life too!

" A German company called Laserline has just fired one of its workers for smoking. Private detectives were hired to take pictures of the guy lighting up in his back garden...

Anyone else feeling a chill right now? I wish I could say that I made up that quote for dramatic effect. Unfortunately, that it is a direct quote from an article reporting on the incident. Similar incidents are happening in the US as well. This is a growing trend, one that I feel is far more dangerous to our way of life than terrorists and the Patriot Act combined. If employers are permitted to dictate how workers are to behave in the privacy of their own homes...

Do you hear that? It is Benjamin Franklin rolling over in his grave. I think old Ben was a smoker too.

This company in Germany hired private detectives to spy on employees, then fired a man for smoking in his backyard. A distributor of Miller beer in Racine, Wisconsin was caught on camera drinking a Budweiser, during some local city event. His picture was published in the local newspaper and he was fired that very day. A Budweiser distributor in Colorado fired one of its employees because he was seen drinking a Coors in a bar.

I understand that private employers can do things forbidden to the government. If you go on television and say bad things about your company, do not be surprised to see the contents of your office packed into a cardboard box the next day. However, a line must be drawn somewhere. Companies and corporations are not totalitarian governments, nor should they be allowed to behave as such. We are not discussing spyware, installed on the company computer, catching someone surfing for porn during work hours. These people, while off duty and miles away from company property, were fired for doing things that were entirely legal.

Why is this being permitted? Why are the labor unions not on Capitol Hill raining down fire and brimstone upon the Congress? What's next; NBC firing employees for watching ABC while they are at home? I meant what I said earlier: this trend, if allowed to continue, threatens to destroy our liberties. Companies cannot and should not be allowed to dictate what people do in their own homes. The owners of those beer distributors and the owner of Germany's Laserline should be thrown in prison for what they did. If you are a union worker, you need to speak to your rep about this. The next company that decides to suspend the Constitution in our homes might be your's. The labor unions, all of them, need to march straight up the steps of the Capitol building and demand that companies be ordered out of our homes.

We need to do something about this. Today, it is private detectives snapping photos of you in the back yard. Tomorrow, they will be planting microphones and cameras in your bedroom. Is that the world in which you want to live? "

Real Holiday Shows That Should Be On TV

" Every year, we celebrate our holiday evenings the same way as our holiday feasts: with warmed-over, predictable dishes. Will Linus and Sally finally hook up in that pumpkin field this year? Will Cindy Lou Whoever get to eat her roast beast? Is that traffic cop seriously going to swallow his whistle again at the sight of Frosty crossing the street for the 36th consecutive year? How about, 10 new dishes that we'd love to see on the air someday. They may not be familiar (hell, they may not even be plausible), but one thing's for certain: they're still better than Aunt Connie's fruitcake.

The Trump Who Stole Christmas. For years, he's sat high above the city, peering down on everyone else's celebrations from his gaudy gold penthouse. Now, with the worlds of real estate, television and self-promotion conquered, The Donald launches the world's first reality holiday show. Starting at the beginning of December, Trump splits twenty residents of Whoville into two groups (The Whos and the Who Nots) that scheme to steal trees, wreaths and mistletoe from those less fortunate (which is, basically, everyone). Right before Trump can fire a flunkee who fails to successfully market the newest flavor of Who Hash, however, his hairpiece grows two sizes. Afterward, he continues to possess all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, but this ratings bonanza is more than enough to make the multimillionaire smile. As Trump would say: "It's gonna be huge."

Emmet Otter's Hip-Hop Christmas. From the Jim Henson Company comes this inspirational story of a poverty stricken otter family struggling in the ghetto. When young Emmet, enters an open mike rap contest under the stage name E-Dawg, he uses his skills to try to win himself a turntable. What he doesn't realize, however, is that his sweet mother, is planning on laying down some rhymes of her own. When The Riverbottom Gang, brings on the grooves of their washtub bass, the contest gets heated, but a cameo appearance by MC Elmo brings peace to all, as they collaborate on a Pharrell Williams-produced remix of Barbecue.

It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown! Everyone's favorite squiggly shirted bald kid has already cornered the market on the major holidays, so it only makes sense that the Peanuts empire would roll on like Alexander the Great, conquering the smaller ones as well. Set a few months after the Christmas special, this newly beloved family classic has Charlie and Linus setting out to replant their pathetically thin evergreen tree. After Pigpen makes his contribution by shaking off a fresh layer of top soil, Lucy kneels over to offer her watering can, then cruelly yanks it away from Charlie Brown, sending him flying through the air. And since the various states celebrate Arbor Day on different dates, networks are sure to be intrigued by the possibilities of low-cost repeat airings.

The Cornelius Brothers' Christmas Adventure. When pickax-wielding prospector Yukon Cornelius starts exploring his family roots, he uncovers his most exciting holiday adventure since he helped Rudolph get to the head of Santa's sleigh. Yukon's long-lost brother, "Soul Train" host and all-around hepcat Don Cornelius, is so excited to meet his relative that he tells Yukon about all the gold around the necks and fingers of his performers and dancers. Things get a bit messy when Yukon begins stabbing people on the dance floor, licking his ax and shouting out Nothing! when he discovers that most of it is imitation jewelry. In the immortal words of Don: It's gonna be a stone gas, honey!

Yogi's First Festivus. In a bizarre Groundhog Day series of repetition, Yogi Bear has spent every December of the last quarter-century rediscovering Christmas for the first time. Imagine his excitement, then, when he wakes from this year's hibernation to find that Huckleberry Hound, Snagglepuss and the rest are instead celebrating Festivus, the Frank Costanza-designed nondenominational holiday for the rest of us. Placing an aluminum pole in the middle of the Jellystone Lodge, Auggie Doggie and Doggie Daddy lead the group in the ceremonial Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength. At the end of the evening, Cindy Bear wrestles Herman the Hermit to the ground and pins him, earning herself a picnic basket filled with a Big Salad.

Sam Stuffing and the Voyage of the Gravy Boat. After years of having nothing to watch on Thanksgiving Eve but sitcom reruns, TV audiences finally get a program to put them in the mood for Turkey Day. The story begins when Sam, a boy who OD's on stuffing, rests his head on the family table and falls asleep. Dreaming he's been shrunken down to the size of a salt shaker, Sam hops aboard the gravy boat for a sailing adventure around the table. After an avalanche of dinner rolls nearly crushes him, Sam encounters a surly orange potato who gets angry when people call him sweet (I yam what I yam! he barks), has to extract a fallen olive from the hot pumpkin pie volcano and gets caught in the crossfire of the epic, ongoing war between white and dark meat. Sam saves the day by grabbing an enormous carving knife and inflicting a mortal wound to the Evil Green Bean Casserole Monster, who dies while hemorrhaging cranberry sauce.

Dick Clark's Rockin' Epiphany Eve. With ageless ex-DJ Clark having such a blast counting down to each new year, it's only natural that he'd want to do it all over again six days later. Epiphany, the obscure 12th day of Christmas, marks the day the wise men finally got around to forking over their gifts for the baby Jesus. It only seems right, then, that we should celebrate tardy gift givers everywhere, while simultaneously extending our holiday vacations until Jan. 6. Twelve drummers drumming? Sounds like a party to us! Go ahead, Dick, hoist your ball up one more time!

Lost on the Island of Misfit Toys. After a season-and-a-half of running around in the woods, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 from (Lost) stumble upon a mysterious beach. There, they encounter Charlie-In-The-Box and the Train with Box Wheels, who explain that they are, in fact, on the Island of Misfit Toys. As Rudolph and Santa attempt to uncover the truth about the Hanso Foundation, Libby and Ana Lucia pose their own queries as to what, exactly, is wrong with the normal looking Misfit Girl Doll. Hermey the Elf quickly supplants Jack as the go-to physician for injured island residents, and a dramatic confrontation occurs when Charlie Pace is accused of stealing the dentist's painkiller supplies. In the end, everyone's problems are solved as the Lost crew plays with the toys, while studly King Moonracer offers to return the favor with Evangeline Lilly.

The Star Wars Holiday Special, Episode II: Attack of the Groans. For three decades, geeks have passed around bootleg copies of the 1978 misstep that George Lucas wishes he could make go far, far away. Now, they can once again shell out big bucks to discover that, yes, the idea of celebrating outer space's Lifeday really is that bad. With Episode II, Lucas' prequel to the Special, we see a CGI-enhanced Bea Arthur at age 18, applying for the entry-level job of dishwasher at the Creature Cantina. Lucas continues to plunder his universe by establishing that Chewbacca's father Itchy has a high midichlorian count, that Art Carney is Boba Fett's brother and that Jimmy Smits was the original lead singer for Jefferson Starship.

Frosty vs. Predator. Now that Freddy vs. Jason and Alien vs. Predator have made matchups so hot, it's time to toughen up the so-called jolly, happy soul. The Predator has tremendous strength and the ability to turn invisible, sure, but Frosty can melt himself down to liquid form and then re-assemble himself unscathed! Factor in the Snowman's coal-launching eye sockets and kernal-spitting corncob pipe, and the two engage in an impressive battle to the death. For the show's climactic battle, Frosty slides on his belly at great speeds while the Predator chases after him, attempting to capture the coveted magic hat. Ultimately, however, both combatants are destroyed by a reincarnated, nefarious and thoroughly animated Jimmy Durante."

Santa...Will he be a thing of our past ?

" Disillusioned by a growing list of rules imposed by recruiting agencies and shopping centres to guard against litigation, men who have brought smiles to the faces of thousands of young for decades are reluctantly deciding to call it quits. - They can't hand out candy, they can't pat children on the head because of religious beliefs, they can't put children on their laps unless they get permission from parents and they can't have photographs taken with youngsters unless their hands are in full view.
So frightened have some Santas become of being sued that they are demanding extra helpers to act as witnesses just in case a complaint is made. Santas are even being told not to go around saying 'Ho, ho, ho' because they may frighten children. One Santa said, he walked through a shopping centre in silence because he was worried he'd be fired, if he appeared too jolly. The plight of Santa's highlighted a worrying trend around the world of political correctness gone mad. It is important society find the right balance between political correctness and what some people saw as acceptable behaviour. The ones who did the job because they loved doing it and wanted to keep a child's dream alive are no longer working because of the stupid rules.There are still Santas in stores, but the heart has gone out of them. The rules are getting ridiculous. How can you stop a child running up to you and leaping into your arms? Do you just drop them and say: Sorry, against the rules ? Kids run and cuddle Santa because they love the guy in the red suit. The day will come when Santas would no longer be a part of the Christmas spirit..... Soon, Santa's in shopping centres and public areas would be shielded behind glass screens, away from children. Santa can't even be portrayed as a fat, jolly old fellow any more because it's not politically correct."

Christmas With-out... Christ ?

MSNBC.com:"Is there a war against Christmas? The ACLU and a lot of other people have been trying to take Christ out of Christmas for years. At this time of year, many people believe that that's a real concern. Newport News, Va., 8,000 people are expected to show up for the town's Christmas celebration, except they are NOT..Calling it that. They're calling it Hollydazzle.... And instead of lighting the 40-foot Christmas tree, they are calling it....Get this!! The tree of illumination.

The events are also going to include, of course, Frosty the Snowman, make-your-own-snow globes, and that traditional Christmas fair, Mr. And Mrs. Mouse.

Many Americans are fed up with public celebrations that are taking Christ out of Christmas, and they believe that their faith is under attack, but is it the proper thing to do? The country was founded on a document that specifically separates church from state, that's the United States Constitution. Where does it say that in the Constitution?...The First Amendment.

I would like, however, to be able to go to Mall, and not be told that I need to spend more money, because its Christmas, over the loud speaker all the time, or, indeed, go into Wal-Mart or Target or, what ever store and not have an incessant one-party state month of permanent Buy-Me More.. Music and guilt-propaganda. I think that's annoying and offensive. I promise only one thing. This to me is ugly, vulgar, boring and makes me hate this time of year more every time it comes around.

People are starting to speak-up, because they are tired of this onslaught against Christmas & Christ. They are tired of the trend of the ACLU and others that force, views that simply want to eliminate God and religion from the public eye. And I think it is symbolic of what's happened to take a Christmas tree and rename it to something other than a Christmas tree.

To me.. What does Christmas mean? It's suppose to be about - Remembering the birth of Jesus, the son of God. Instead of a cake to share, with candles. We put up a tree and use lighting & ect. To show our joy, for the birth of all man-kind, here on this earth..we live on. And the reason we give gifts, I believe because all humans are the children of God, and we re-joyce in our birth thru him (Jesus) on this day because of what he did for us...Born into this world in hopes to make it a better place to live for all. If we loose that from our memories, then we become nothing more, then animals in the chain of life here on earth. Is that what humans want to go back to? "

Winter came here last night!!

 

Dear Mr. Bush

MichaelMoore.com!:" I would like to extend my hand and invite you to join us, the mainstream American majority. We, the people -- that's the majority of the people -- share these majority opinions:

1. Going to war was a mistake -- a big mistake.

2. You and your administration misled us into this war.

3. We want the war ended and our troops brought home.

4. We don't trust you.

Now, I know this is a bitter pill to swallow. Iraq was going to be your great legacy. Now, it's just your legacy. It didn't have to end up this way.

This week, when Republicans and conservative Democrats started jumping ship, you lashed out at them. You thought the most damning thing you could say to them was that they were "endorsing the policy positions of Michael Moore and the extreme liberal wing of the Democratic party." I mean, is that the best you can do to persuade them to stick with you -- compare them to me? You gotta come up with a better villain. For heaven's sakes, you had a hundred-plus million other Americans who think the same way I do -- and you could have picked on any one of them!

But hey, why not cut out the name-calling and the smearing and just do the obvious thing: Come join the majority! Be one of us, your fellow Americans! Is it really that hard? Is there really any other choice? George, take a walk on the wild side!

Your loyal representative from the majority,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
Coffee Talk..Adds their name to this letter"

Today Is My Birthday

 

How Many Faces Do You See ??

 

NEW SHOW - HOOKER'S APPRENTICE

"Pahrump, Nev.- On the heels of the megahit reality show The Apprentice comes a brand new search for sharp business professionals -The Apprentice Hooker,- says the program's creator. "Smart, dependable prostitutes are hard to find," says Mike McGee, CEO of Strumpet Productions. "I came up with the brilliant idea after a friend, who frequents legal Nevada brothels, told me his favorite hostess, Madam Bovary, confided in him about how tough it was to hire Ladies of the Night who were beautiful, but also intelligent. "The Apprentice Hooker will attract 'working girls' from all across the country. They'll compete to get into Madam Bovary's brothel, The Best Little Whorehouse in Nevada, where they'll live like queens and service only the wealthiest men in America -- and make themselves a fortune in the process!" But competitors are going to face stiff challenges to win employment with Madam Bovary. "I make Donald Trump look like a doormat," says the brothel boss. Everyone thinks it's easy to be a hooker. Ha! I demand excellence. "I run a beautiful 'resort' for wealthy, sometimes famous men. They want a lovely lady who is attractively attired. I need women of grace who can prove to me they understand the art of making a deal." Madam Bovary insists there are a great many similarities between being a successful businessperson and a professional prostitute. Both must be able to:

•Show off their product in the best light.

•Negotiate quickly and firmly.

•Utilize time management and scheduling techniques.

•Provide customer satisfaction.

•Defeat the competition.

•Close the deal quickly.

•Generate repeat business.

•Know when to kiss butt.

The weekly, hour-long program will feature Madam Bovary and 20 escorts each season. "I'll also let them watch me in action. They can learn a lot by example." If, after reviewing the tape, Bovary comes to the conclusion there is no hope for that particular prostitute, she'll turn to her and say, "You're laid off." "The winner or winners will pack their bags and come to live in The Best Little Whorehouse in Nevada, where they'll work and reside in luxury," said Bovary. "The views are fantastic, the women get unlimited spa and gym time, a personal trainer, regular manicures, pedicures and massages. On the practical side, they'll receive full coverage medical benefits and a 401k." McGee says home audiences will be glued to their TV sets, rooting for their favorites and watching the hookers in action. Viewer discretion will be advised."

The Military

" He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry."

A Normal Work-Day For Them at War..

"He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop or stop until he is told to march."

Spare time at War for our men

"He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death then he should have in his short lifetime."

American's fine's While at war away from home

"They has stood atop mountains of dead bodies, and helped to create them. They has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combatand is unashamed. They feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through their body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to square-away' those around them who haven't bothered to stand,remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, they defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did our Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, they are paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, they are not children. They are the American Fighting person that has kept this country free for over 200 years"

Tradition of what war looks like

"He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding.Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have woman over there in danger,doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so. As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot.. A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets "

Prayer wheel for our military

" The average age of the military man or is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's; but he has never collected unemployment either. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student,pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and 155mm howizzitor. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk........... Prayer wheel for our military........Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen. Please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops in Afghanistan, sailors on ships, and airmen in the air,and for those in Iraq. There is nothing attached.... This can be very powerful.......Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marineor Airman, prayer is the very best one. This is a ribbon for soldiers fighting in Iraq. "

Excuse me but my !! BUTT!! is stuck

"A Colorado man who claims he was stuck to a restroom toilet seat has passed a lie detector test. Reports Bob Dougherty answered 20 questions, including four about him allegedly making a similar claim in Nederland, Colorado.Nederland's former operations director says Dougherty claimed last year that was was glued to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center. But Dougherty denies the claim.Dougherty has filed a lawsuit claiming after paramedics unbolted the toilet seat it separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.The lawsuit claims he suffered pain, humiliation and financial losses and seeks 3-million dollars in damages"

Coffee - couldn't bring this turtle back to life

"Ainsworth, Iowa.. A woman in Iowa says she got a jolt even before she made her Folgers coffee. Marjorie Morris says when she went to pour the freeze-dried coffee into a canister last Sunday, she found a dead baby turtle. Morris says she'd been making coffee from the same package for a month before discovering the turtle. She says when she called a customer service line, she was told the turtle might have wound up in the coffee because of Hurricane Katrina. There's a major Folgers plant in New Orleans. A spokeswoman for Procter and Gamble, which makes Folgers, says it's too early to say where the turtle came from. Morris says she doesn't plan to sue"

The Perfect Pen

"What we would give to be eight or 14 again! Ever since we discovered the Fly pen from Leapfrog Enterprises. This is no ordinary pen: It talks. It translates. It educates and entertains. You can draw piano keys or drums on the special Fly paper and get this play them. You can draw a calculator and do math with it. It also has a built-in scheduler to remind you of activities, appointments, curfew, specialized spelling help, the girls' ultimate interactive journal/friend/insta-magazine and more. This cool toy and computer in one is the ultimate multitasking tool for the tween on the go. The pen talks through a small loudspeaker but also includes earbuds As one reviewer on Amazon said: “This pen rocks!” We couldn't agree more."

Perfect Gift For Your Workers

 

My Sweetie and I kissed and made-up

 

Oh Well..It's Sunday

 

What I feel towards men today

 

Honey like my costume - Just for you

 

Halloween death not even noticed

Halloween Mistake:" Delaware -The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some homes on a moderately busy road, state police said. The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen from passing vehicles. Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed the body at breakfast time but dismissed it as a holiday prank. Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later."They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal. You know what is sad about this is no one even missed her enough to go look for her, only to then find her hanging dead right out in plain sight and everyone thinking your just a prop."